Catia Bitching Cancer

I have to admit it, I’m having fun. The fist time was when the LA Times called to ask me to restart my subscription. The guy tried to entice me with a free subscription to a beauty magazine. After having been on the phone with him for 10 minutes trying in vain to get him to stop trying selling me the paper, I commented rather dryly but sarcastically on his offer telling him that the offer of a beauty magazine with pictures of people with beautiful hair on their heads didn’t quite appeal to me, given that I was scheduled to start hair-dropping chemotherapy in a few weeks. Undaunted, he then offered a cooking magazine. This time I snickered and said something about how inappropriate the offer sounded to a woman about to experience chemo-induced nausea. I think that did it for him.

Then I had fun at the YMCA, where Kristin and I have been swimming laps on and off for 2 years (though we haven’t done it together for a while). Oftentimes there is a concurrent senior water volleyball game going on while we do our laps. Among those seniors a few women come all made up and drenched in (cheap) perfumes, which makes breathing and getting some cardio action in the pool a lot less fun (especially for Kristin who has asthma). Kristin tried to politely talk to them last year but she was scoffed. The other day I decided to play the cancer card. The women playing have all seen me naked in the locker room, so they all know that I had cancer. While I was doing my laps I was invested with the strong and unpleasant scent. I stopped in the middle of the lane. I apologized for interrupting their game and then quite simply told them that, since I was doing chemo and was nauseous, I would appreciate it if they came to the pool with no perfume on. They all pitied me, suggested I moved to a lane farther away from the woman with the perfume (who was denying wearing a perfume and said it was body wash….whatever… but they all knew who it was!), and finally thanked me for letting them know about it so they could help!

Bruce too has fun playing the cancer card with telemarketers. The only time I came short of using it was when NOW called me asking for donations. I couldn’t bring myself to use it, though the woman was very insistent and borderline annoying. I just said that although NOW had my full support, because I was dealing with a serious illness I couldn’t help them financially for the moment. I didn’t mention cancer, though probably I should’ve.

Then with some friends we are going to do the Komen 3-day cancer walk (for more information visit their website: http://www.the3day.org). In order to participate in this 60 mile walk, each participant commits to raise $2,200 to benefit the Komen Foundation (which invests in breast cancer research and, most importantly for me, in breast health care and treatment for the underserved in the US and other countries). I figure I’d better sign up and start fundraising as soon as I start losing my hair: it should be much easier to get money from local businesses if I go in and ask for it while wearing a head scarf, shouldn’t it? Dare to say no to a bald woman?

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