Catia Bitching Cancer

Alan and (privately) Toni tell me I shouldn’t be afraid or scrupulous about using violence metaphors to describe my adventures with cancer (there you go, I found a word!). Since Toni has so far abstained from posting to the blog, I heartily recommend you read Alan’s comment and enjoy, like I did (I love you Alan!), his elegant and eloquent prose, not to mention his unmatched wit.

I had a rough two days. But what was tough did not have anything to do with dealing with cancer. It was all about bureaucracy and the frustrations of having to sort through hurdles that shouldn’t be there, or that you feel you shouldn’t have to tackle with, at a time when there is definitely a more important problem for you to solve. I screamed and cried with poorly trained and seemingly unsympathetic office staff at Kaiser, just to get some explanations (I won’t bother you with details). And of course while I was frustrated, angry and desperate I can also appreciate the fact that I can’t know what those office workers were/are going through in their own lives that make it hard for them to professionally and compassionately talk to overwrought patients with cancer. Not that I didn’t think about calling Kaiser’s customer service and file a complaint. The only reason why so far I haven’t pursued this, is that it’s one more thing to do that has nothing to do with helping myself and my family and friends go through life with cancer. Toni would call this realignment…in this case of priorities. Let’s say that filing a complaint against Kaiser is not among my priorities right now, for better or for worse.

But I lied, that’s not the only reason that I don’t call Kaiser customer service. The other reason is that, while I had some heartache and headache yesterday and this morning, I also had quite a surprising trip through the smiles, compassion, empathy, and wise advice of some other Kaiser staff and then of my friends, both yesterday and today. So I choose to tell the story of that.

Yesterday, the ultrasound technician was absolutely fantastic! She made me feel comfortable, cared for, worthy of all attention. She chatted around with me about what kind of physical exercise we do (she likes kickboxing, like Geert….I might have to check it out myself!), the aches and pains of bad posture and work habits, Italy…then she ventured tactfully into talking about cancer, best surgeons, the on call radiologist’s methods. She even called in a colleague of hers whose cancer has been in remission for five years in December to help me feel less scared. She reassured me that my surgeon is the best they know. She was plain wonderful. No wonder I had to wait over 1 1/2 hours to see her: she takes her time with patients, so she probably used the same courtesy with the patient that came before me. After I got out of there, the admission clerk, an armoire of a man, with a tough-looking appearance and a sort-of cavernous voice, ran after me (commenting how fast I walked) and kindly offered me a coupon to the Kaiser cafeteria and gift shop, as a small compensation for having so graciously waited for so long. I admit, I flirted shamelessly…after all, I don’t know I’ll get to do it so effectively after surgery :-).

Then today, after having screamed with people on the phone, at one point while Sandro was in the car with me, cried, felt hopelessly out of control, I was eventually called back by a Kaiser angel who listened to my concerns, explained their procedures to me, and finally set up an appointment for a second plastic surgery opinion without me having to wait for the first appointment to take place (hence needlessly delay the mastectomy).

In all this Serena and Cecelia were oh so helpful! They listened, cried with me, talked to my family in Italy, comforted me, made me feel less guilty about shouting and screaming to people while Sandro was listening. And then I receive phone calls, emails, books in the mail…I love you all and I don’t feel ashamed about being smoochy. I have an excuse! Thanks friends!!!

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