Catia Bitching Cancer

First post after surgery, here it is. I was in a way dreading it. Where should I start? The last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital room without my left boob is Dr. McDorky marking my breasts with a felt-tip pen and telling me I was lopsided. I was oh so happy that it was slightly cold in that room, so that my breasts were all perky, but he plainly said it didn’t matter a bit. That’s what I get for choosing McDorky over Cute Plastic Surgeon, I thought! But I got the nurse giggling over my fake boob-glasses and various boob paraphernalia that Bruce later had to take back with him. I got a lot of comfort from the presence of all my friends through the gifts and cards I brought with me to the pre-op room.

When I woke up in my room, I looked down to check through the bandage and all I saw was a mini cleavage that gave me a measure of relief. Then friends came over to see how I was and laugh at and with my groggy self. Kristin and Cynthia even gave me a foot and hand massage. S-P-O-I-L-E-D, that’s my name!

Saturday, early afternoon, Gary came to visit too, and insisted that cleavage doesn’t matter, but he’s a man beside a priest, so what does he know? Dr. McDorky came while Gary was there, and he sent everybody out. My parents attempted without success to convince Sandro to help them communicate, but Sandro was occupied with his GameBoy and continued to ignore the adults around him. But he didn’t ignore mamma: he moved into my bed as soon as he arrived in my room, and though he never let go of his GameBoy, we were just content to lie next to each other. He’s been so wonderful ever since. He even saw my wound and matter-of-factly admired it. He did ask me whether the drainage tube hurt, but he didn’t seem phased from the 10-in. red scar across what used to be my left boob.

As for me, I watched myself in the mirror as soon as I came home that day, after Dr. McDorky gave me the go (and after giving me post-op instructions laced with what he thought were humorous details). I won’t hide it: it’s nasty! It runs across my chest for about 10 inches, starting 2 inches left of the sternum curvying its way through to my left underarm. Then I have the scar from the biopsy and lower on my side a 2-3 in. scar where the valve from the expandable implant is sitting temporarily until the breast is inflated to the proper size. For someone who had only two small scars over all her body for her entire life and never was put under until 2 weeks ago, that was quite a change. But I am getting used to it, and Sandro’s reaction helped a lot. But more about that later…

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