Catia Bitching Cancer

This appointment scheduling thing is becoming comical. Yesterday I received a reminder call for an appointment that I didn’t know I had, and no reminder call for an appointment I did know about.

Today I saw another plastic surgeon for a second opinion (the appointment I knew about). I will call this second doctor McDorky. The first plastic surgeon I saw last week is also known as Cute Plastic Surgeon (despite Serena’s opinion to the contrary). McDorky doesn’t really look at me when he speaks, he mumbles rather than talk, he doesn’t allow for a lot of room to ask questions, but offers very exhaustive (and exhausting) explanations, has his own sense of humor but doesn’t laugh with you. Serena was looking at me in desperation, yawning and yearning for a Pocket Coffee (for those of you who have never had one, they are chocolates filled with espresso Y-U-M-M-Y!). One also wonders how he can be the famous plastic surgeon all the nurses have been praising and have food stains on his pants. But he has very well cared for hands, obviously, pink and soft, and well manicured. Cute Plastic Surgeon too has nicely kept hands. I wonder if that’s a plastic surgeon feature trait.

Basically, apart from a technical difference on what kind of implants the two prefer, they both suggested the same for me, except that McDorky’s attitude is much less positive. He refuses to give best case scenarios. He doesn’t exactly give worst case scenarios either, but he is very meticulous at telling you failure percentage rates, infection rates, complication rates, etc. Not exactly the most uplifting visit I’ve had so far. But, I think, it’s great that he’ll be present on Nov. 3rd: I get the cute and sparkly doctor, with the boring but experienced doctor there to supervise.

But no, turns out I don’t have that right either. The second appointment (which I didn’t know of) is with Cute Plastic Surgeon, for what I think is a pre-op visit. But instead he insists that, since he’s leaving for a month, I’d better be operated by McDorky, so that the same doctor that operates also does the follow up (filling up the implant with saline solution to start stretching the skin, check the healing, etc). He assures me he’s not dumping me. I sort of pout and tell him that I undestand I am a difficult patient. He denies. He says he can still see me, if I want to, when he comes back, especially for follow up and symmetry fixings etc., but that I am better off being operated by the one who’s going to be there for the month immediately after the surgery. I wonder if I am going to see Cute Plastic Surgeon again. Bruce don’t mind me: isn’t it better to wake up and see a cute face looking at you and touching what is left of your breast, than to stare half awake at an overweight, food stained, geek? Serena says McDorky looks like the typical grind, who in high school and college does little else but study, and is a genius at what he does. I hope so.

November 3rd, 8am is my surgery. If the right breast is ok, the operation will last about 3 hours. I should have a simple mastectomy, then an expandable implant put in.

Oh and one piece of good news: I overheard the two surgeons talk and McDorky later confirmed that the lymphnodes tested negative to cancer. I screamed in delight!!!

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